Vintage Confidence

(Reward for reading through the information stuff....pics at the bottom :)

I think most people are very curious about my reconstruction.  It doesn't make sense to them how tummy tissue can be made into breasts.  I have linked some great information on the process here.  I had plenty of excess skin from my huge pregnancies to cover most of my double mastectomy reconstruction. 

After my surgery, the tissue settled and I had valleys on my chest where the new tissue met the breast bone.  To repair these, the plastic surgeon added small implants under the flap to add lift and fill the valleys.

I have extensive scaring.  I have a ring scar around where each nipple was (I was not able to save my nipple).  I have a scar under the breast in the crease between the breast and ribs.  I also have a scar from the outer side of the nipple scar to the arm pit.  The ring scar will be covered by the nipple tattooing.  The others, we hope will lighten.  I see this as a small price to pay for my life.

In addition to the breast surgery, which I have to say, made my breasts look "pre-nursing", I also continued my weight loss after my surgery for a grand total of 40lbs lost.  10lbs. was lost from the removal of tissue in my surgery.  The rest took some work!  I have had body confidence issues for a long as I can remember.  I just never felt comfortable with myself.  However after this process, and after the amazing support and love from Ray, I truly feel like I am finally confident.  Call it figuring out what's really important, or not taking what you have for granted, or whatever else.  I am sure it is a lot of "things".  But I am so thankful that I feel so amazing these days.  I am also truly thankful for a man that loves me unconditionally and never (ever) made me feel anything but beautiful.

Ray's birthday is tomorrow and for his birthday I had some photos taken in retro pin up style.  I made a really sweet book with quotes from our favorite songs.  It was my way of showing him that he makes me feel incredibly special and beautiful.  I also wanted to share some with my "fans".  I want women to see that you will look "normal".  I mean obviously when I am naked I see scares.  But day to day I don't even know they are there because the wonderful job my surgical team did.  I can wear bathing suits, tank tops, tight tops, bras, anything and everything and you wouldn't know the difference.  I am thankful every day!