Monday, June 10, 2013

New Challenges

To this point, I have felt very pleased with my decision regarding my surgery and I have been extremely open about it.  However, I find myself in a new challenging position.  In this situation, I feel embarrassed, uncomfortable and modest. 

The locker room.  I am now coaching swimming at the local YMCA and with that employment, I get a family membership.  I decided Friday that I was going to take a mid-day class and shower there to be ready for a formal celebration afterwards.  Everything was all fine and dandy until I had to shower in a large room with a bunch of naked women.  As a former swimmer, this would not phase me in the least; until now.  Sans areolas (funny, spell check doesn't recognize this as a word), I clearly look different.  I get noticeable stares.  I find myself rushing and covering and cowering to hide my scars.  I find myself embarrassed.  Not ashamed, but definitely uncomfortable and not open to discussing my surgery with strangers while naked. 

For the first time in 2 year, the 2 years since my surgery, this situation has me baffled.  How do you deal with this?  The obvious answer is getting nipple tattoos.  But I don't want that.  I want a mastectomy tattoo, and I have one scheduled, but in the meantime.  How would you feel if you saw someone without nipples in a locker room?

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